Fall In Love With Yourself First

It’s not a fashion blog, but I was feeling it so I went with  a non-traditional, #WCW blog today!

You know in Sex & the City {only the best show ever} when Carrie says, “The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself…” yeah so that appears to be true. And the older I get, the more I realize just how important that statement really is. I have gotten myself into some sticky, non-traditional “relationships” (if you can even call them that) the last few years and honestly the most important thing I have learned is to never, ever lose yourself, who you are and what you stand for.

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A few years ago I completely lost myself and conformed to what he wanted me to be just so I didn’t lose him. That was never who I was. I picked up my whole life and moved to Florida knowing one person. I am independent and confident and never changed for anyone. But as I got older and everyone started getting married and procreating, I felt like I needed keep my mouth shut a little more and “go with the flow”. That’s only good in small doses, in some situations. Because in doing that, I was gone. The person he ended up falling for was gone, and he no longer wanted the new person I became and I lost him anyway. It turned out to be a good thing anyway and of course he came back once I was reincarnated, but lesson learned. I would never lose me again.

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I’m not going in depth into what can only be described as my own personal hell from last few years but I will tell you this, in the end you only have you. You have to fall in love with yourself and just as you do with another person, work hard to maintain that relationship. Staying healthy is so important, when you start to drink more, stop working out, eat bad or not eat at all, it’s time to stop and say maybe this isn’t right? Girls: don’t wait around for that call, go get your weekly pedicure, go to Yoga, happy hour with your friends and keep your phone away. Do things that make you feel good about yourself, things that made you happy and smile before he came along! I am not saying this is the always the case, but we are often guilty of it. We over think, and over analyze and think in the future too much. If you feel something isn’t right, let it go. If it’s meant to be it will happen. But don’t ever forget what you deserve. Chances are, that guy you are with, you met at the happiest time of your life when you weren’t looking, you had confidence, independence and on a health kick. Guess what? That is the person he fell for. Not the girl who sits at home waiting for him to call or text. He fell for the girl who had her own thing going; dreams, plans, a schedule.

Stand up for yourself. If something hurts you, say it! It’s okay. If he loves you, he won’t go anywhere. That is one thing I have learned for sure. Because once I did start speaking my mind, they always came back no matter how harsh I was. Whether or not the jackass really loved me or not, it felt good because I could be myself with him and not hide how I felt and I knew I had to always maintain that. Things don’t always happen the way you want when you want them to, it’s just a fact. I am not saying you should think negatively that it is not going to work out, all I am saying is, if it doesn’t work, it won’t be as hard to remember how you felt before he graced your threshold if you never lost that person to begin with. Isn’t that the hardest part of a breakup; getting back to who you were before them?  What if you never lost that person you were?  Don’t change things you do to make yourself happy just to please someone else.

 

 

Don’t forget YOU and what you want and you deserve. He’s great, he’s wonderful but this isn’t how it’s supposed to be. It’s okay to say that. It’s okay to put yourself first. Love you, because if you don’t, no one else sure as hell will!

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