#MondayMantra: Reclaiming Your Power

In recent months I have gone through heartache but also gone through a process complete self-understanding. Without even noticing, I was carrying around someone who was like a heavy weight, and I felt the pressure but I was too afraid to drop the weight thinking that I may hurt myself in doing so. Six weeks later, I dropped the weight and had the day I had been searching for since 2013.

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The last day I can remember truly being happy with myself, being alone and being away from my addiction to social media was 2013. I lived in Jacksonville, FL at the time and had just moved down from NJ. I didn’t know anyone except my roommate, an old high school colleague and a new friend who was engaged to be married. My roommate traveled so I was alone a lot. I went through some really tough trials and tribulations in 2012 so I feel like once I moved, God was telling me I needed to fully be alone to discover self-acceptance and appreciation. I woke up on a Saturday morning and drove to the beach by myself. I brought a book (Can’t remember which one) and next thing I remember it was 7 hours later and I was still on the beach, finished my book and had not checked my phone in hours. I felt a sense of presence over me, full awareness of where I was. I had not felt that in a long time. I decided to pack up my chair, head to the grocery store and make myself an elaborate dinner. Which is exactly what I did. After, I remember enjoying some red wine, reading fashion magazines and watching E! all night. It was the best day I had in a while. Since then, I have longed for a day like that.

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Yesterday, I had it. I woke up and had “your special day” on my planner. The rest of April is filled with celebrations and fashion shows so I literally had to schedule time to relax. I made coffee, cooked myself breakfast, watched a church service online, and read some of my book. I told myself by noon I needed to get out of bed. I did, got showered and headed to DSW where I bought a pair of Steve Madden ballet flats, Lucky Brand Espadrilles and another pair of black strap chunky heels for $57! {Good day right!} I felt blissful.

I came home and cracked a bottle of Chloe Pinot Noir, got in my over-sized red papsan chair outback and read my book “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’y Do” by Amy Morin. I had the day. I had the day I have been wishing for and I even 86’ed the cell. The book is also magnificent.

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I am on the chapter called “Don’t give away your power”, the author explains that when you give your power away you give away so much more. Ever give your power away to someone else? And the funny thing is, half the time they don’t even know they have it! You don’t eat, or sleep, you starting taking on bad habits; start self-pitying yourself, all you talk about to your friends is this person? What a waste of time and your perfectly wonderful life. Bad things happen, hurtful things happen but it is up to you to look at those things in a positive way. Losing someone is painful but losing yourself is way worse. Don’t ever give someone else the power to make you feel like you’re unworthy or not enough. You are enough, know that, remember that and go after your dreams and goals. Don’t ever let anyone take that away. Put down the phone, leave it inside, enjoy nature and the little things that life presents to you each day.

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Sometimes we are so afraid of time alone, when really that is exactly what we need to heal. If you need to schedule alone time for yourself, do it, because it can revive you. My day was simple, but it was all about me. I have not had one of those in a long time. And guess what? It’s ok to have a day totally about you. After all, if you don’t make yourself happy first, no one else is going to.

Xo, Happy Monday! Cheers, Jenn

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